i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
