Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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