he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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