he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Everything about him screamed your future.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
