I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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