On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
