frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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