dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
