I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
