Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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