butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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