hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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