these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There's even glitter on my cock...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
