I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
