Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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