I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Houston, we have a blender
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
