i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
