There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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