Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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