remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
