Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My pussy is not your playground.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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