I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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