MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
