my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
