Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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