Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
