My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
