..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
