Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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