I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
