Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
