guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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