i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
