She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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