Your face is a jimmy john
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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