How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
