i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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