Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
