I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Is it because I queefed?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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