the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
