She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
