Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
PANTIES FOUND
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