Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
