my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
