Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
