I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
