____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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