i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize