yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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