I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
