So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
