u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
