if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize