this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
