Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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