Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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