nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
