I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
